Struggling

It’s been 6 months since I became a mom of 4. I’ve felt so many different emotions over the last several months. Knowing that I’ll never be pregnant again (I love being pregnant). Knowing that these are my last babies and soaking up every single thing that they do. I don’t want to miss a move! Struggling with my body image but also knowing that I carried 4 babies to full term; and 2 at once one of the times. I have been blessed to have easy and healthy pregnancies/deliveries.

After every birth I go through that stage where I just don’t like what I see in the mirror. I have stretch marks, I’m bigger, my body jiggles, my face is rounder, and I’m just struggling to like what I see. I often wish that I was one of those “lucky” girls that lose weight from nursing their babies. But then I have to remember that I am a “lucky” girl because not only can I nurse my babies, I’m nursing two at one time! I think about how I only have to make it 6 more months and then I can be done. But then I don’t want the next 6 months to fly by because that means my tiny babies are going to be toddlers!

This week I’ve really taken it in my hands to try and eat as healthy as I can and try to get myself healthy and happy! I want to take all the kids to the pool and beach and not be worried if somebody is going to see my body and judge me. I know that most people are too busy focusing on their own insecurities and flaws to really worry mine! I love that when I work out my children LOVE it! My older girls tell me to run faster, or cheer me on, or jump in and start doing squats and push-ups with me.  I love that I can hold my babies to have added weight to my squats or lunges. They giggle and it keeps me going.

My husband probably thinks I’m crazy because he knows how much I love being pregnant and seeing my belly grow, but I complain for months on end after I give birth about how much I don’t like my body. “Why continue to go through that multiple times if you’re not going to like yourself after.” Well because I love my babies and I know that I will get myself back where I want to be. It’s not going to be as fast as I’d like, but it will happen.

So I’m off to start this fitness journey, hope you’ll join me, motivate me, and even throw some tips my way!

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