So it’s a new year and I’ve reflected a lot on this last year. I didn’t write anywhere near as much as I had wanted/planned to do! This year I’m hoping things can be different. I want to write more, and I’ve been looking into starting a podcast and having friends of mine on it. It would be geared towards military wives and moms, and just women in general. Something fun!
My four kids are growing rapidly and I’m not really sure I like it! I feel like time is flying by way too fast! I want to soak up as much time with them as possible. Feel like they’ll be off to college starting their own lives before we know it! My twins are turning 1 tomorrow and I’ve been trying to figure out where this last year went. It’s bitter sweet to me that they’re already turning 1. They are seriously two of the best babies! They’re already running around everywhere and have so much personality. My 6 year old is so impressive. She’s the most competitive child I’ve ever met; we just have to show her where to direct all of that competitiveness. She’s smart, funny, fast, and has the most caring heart. My 4 year old will give us a run for our money one day. She’s just too cute for her own good. She makes me laugh daily, and she’s a different character every time I turn around. She’s the kid you see in the grocery store dressed as a dinosaur; she has absolutely no shame in her game!
My husband and I just celebrated 10 years of marriage! Every single year together has gotten better and better. We’ve really tried to become more of a team and work together more. I’m so excited for our future and achieving all of the goals we have.
I only have a few minutes to write something down today, but I did just want to put it out there that I’m going to make this more of a priority! Talk with ya soon!
I’ve been asked numerous times how I get through deployments. I almost always answer, “I have to, there’s no other option.” Our children need me, and my husband needs to know his wife is able to handle it. We have been separated due to the military several times, sometimes for just a few weeks, sometimes a month, sometimes several months, and one time a year. We’ve been married about nine and a half years; we’ve been a part due to the military for a total of two and a half years! Which to some is a lot, and to other military spouses that’s not too bad.
Our first deployment wasn’t too bad because I was deployed at the same time; I left before him and got back a few weeks before he came home. We didn’t have children, made it so much easier! Our next big deployment wasn’t until our second daughter Presley was born and she was nine months old and Emma was two and a half. It was very hard. We were at a base where I only had two friends and luckily cousins living nearby. Emma was at the age where she realized her daddy wasn’t home and would cry out for him some times. How do you console a two year old that can’t comprehend why her daddy isn’t around? Luckily we all live in the wonderful time of facetime!
I tried to keep the kids busy as much as possible and also tried to keep myself occupied. I tried making sure we had a routine and stuck to it, and we also tried to make it where we talked to my husband around the same time every day. Children thrive off of consistency! We would go once a month to the deployed family dinners where we were surrounded by families in the same boat as us. They tried to make it as fun as possible for the kids and made them feel special. I’d take them to story time at the library, parks, swimming, ice cream dates, make giant blanket forts, church, and anything else to occupy our minds and not so focused on missing daddy.
It probably wasn’t even a month after my husband came back from this deployment that he was notified he was doing a year short tour overseas. I remember feeling so crushed! I’m one of those wives that love to always have her husband around even if we’re not doing anything. I just love his presence. We luckily had several months to prepare and this time we chose for the girls and me to move close to family. We didn’t know if we’d ever get the chance to live near family so we wanted them to get to know them while we had the chance.
This was the toughest year in my opinion. Emma was four and Presley was two and they both knew that daddy wasn’t around. There were several nights all throughout the year where they cried before bed, or they would be acting out and I’d ask them what the deal was and they’d respond, “I just miss daddy!” There were lots of tears and explaining that he was away working but he’ll be back as soon as he can. He was able to come home after about seven and a half months and stayed for about a month. This luckily made the last part of the year tour fly by! I thought that him leaving again after his short visit would make it harder on the girls but it actually went really well!
I know I just went on and explained our situation and didn’t really give advice. But the biggest things I recommend is to first still include him in conversation constantly! We talked about him nonstop as if he had been around all along. Second, face time as much as possible! If your spouse isn’t going to be able to video chat with you, have him record videos and send them to you. There were days that my husband was on shifts that wouldn’t allow him to talk to the kids so he would record videos and send them to me to show the girls. They loved it! Third keep busy, and keep a routine! I feel like I did a lot of the same things every single day and it honestly helped me with the time passing. Fourth, take care of yourself! I am one of those extremely stubborn people who don’t like to ask for help (my husband is probably nodding yes big time to this), but I had to have some time to myself. Luckily I have had people offer to watch my kids to give me time to get my hair done, or run errands alone, or do whatever I needed to, just to have a breather. Lastly, communicate with your spouse as much as possible, about anything and everything. This helps you and your spouse; they’re missing out on a lot and want to feel included in what you’re doing as well.
Pray often and know that you will get through it, some days will be worse than others. You’re strong and your husband will be home soon!
Got my workout in today, no not from the gym! It was from toting all four kids with me to the grocery store. I’ve been blessed the last four months to only have to take my kids to the store two or three times. But that wasn’t an option today. My husband is away on a TDY (Temporary Duty Yonder for nonmilitary folks) and I desperately needed to grab some Pampers and bread! Every aisle we walk down we get looks and stares and if I make eye contact with someone, they almost always say, “you’ve got your hands full!” Yes, yes I do!
I don’t know why this bugs me so much, because let’s face it, I do have my hands full. But when my two older girls are walking right next to the buggy behaving, my twins are quiet and smiling and I’m just going about getting what I need, I don’t like hearing it! I wish people would look at us and keep going, or say, “wow, they are so well behaved, good job momma!” I actually enjoyed taking my kids to the store because I was so proud of how everyone was behaving. I left annoyed by all the people passing judgment.
I used to hear it all the time when it was just my older two girls. Looking back, that was a piece of cake! Children are handfuls whether it’s one child or seven, you’re busy! I feel busy 98% of my day but my heart is full 100% of the time. I get so many hugs, kisses, “I love you mommy,” smiles, snuggles, and giggles. I wouldn’t trade it for the world! So next time it pops into your head “wow that lady has her hands full” think of a compliment you could pass on instead, or just don’t say anything at all. Because that mom already knows it’s a lot to handle, and chances are she was already worried about walking into the store with her kids.
Well the first thing I have to say is that I just scrolled through hundreds of pictures and not a single one had a picture of just me! Guess that explains a little bit about me, I always want to be surrounded by my loved ones!
My name is Danielle, I’m a military wife, mom of 4, Christian, Air Force Veteran, Coffee fanatic, Chocoholic, Fit-Ish (heavy on the ISH), Friend, Listener, Reality TV junkie and Country music fanatic.
I currently live in the Florida Panhandle with my husband and our 4 kids. Jon is my husband, Emma is my oldest (almost 6) Presley just turned 4, and we have 4 month old twins Brantley and Savannah. We also have our 2 crazy dogs Windsor a silver lab and Remy our forever shedding husky!
I decided to start this blog because I love reading other wives, moms, parents, and military spouses experiences and advice; whether it’s getting through a deployment, health, fitness, or parenting.
I have plenty of knowledge when it comes to military life, considering I grew up an Air Force brat and then joined myself and although I separated after 6 years of service I’m still living the life as a spouse. We’re coming up on 12 years this fall.
I’m really trying to get myself healthy and back in shape. Having 4 kids has done a number on my body and I’m ready more than ever to get back on track! It’s not easy considering I’m an exhausted nursing momma. But I know there’s other moms out there that are going through the same thing as me. We can get there together!
I’m looking forward to this journey, and I hope you’ll join me for the ride!